None of this is real.

This is what you might tell yourself in the hospital at Dartmouth. You might plead. Please, at least do that.

I’ve never had a headache before, so when my nurse says, “Go to the hospital if it’s a 10 out of 10,” I call the ambulance. They give me water and I leave at 12:39 and smoke outside and let first dude go on by before getting a ride from second dude. Second dude is fine. I go to Philadelphia in the morning.

Bill answers the phone. “Tom,” he says.

“Let me ask you something,” this to the woman next to me. Too aggressive, intrusive, abrasive. Whatever. I’m smoking.

“Do you believe in God?”

She says yah. Yadda yadda, leaves. I don’t honestly care. Fundamentally, I’m selfish and in trying to solve other people’s problems, I’m simply trying to exempt myself from them.

I’m an asshole like that.

I would like to say this. So long. I am not going anywhere, but I’m going to write that novel now. If you’d like to know where I end up, email me at tomohare3 {at} gmail.whatever. I might tell you, but probably not.

This has been fun, otherwise.


2 responses to “amen

  1. I’m sure your creative work will be terrific.
    I’ll miss the blog, though. You are a wonderful writer.

  2. Terrific

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