Defenders Of The Constitution Unite

You have nothing to lose but Guantanamo Bay.

I fucking love Glenn Greenwald.  And today is no exception.

Here’s a recipe for making the United States awesome: 1) Read Glenn Greenwald every day, 2) Acknowledge his utter correct-ness every day, 3) Make him the President, 4) Add salt and pepper to taste.

That’s it.

Also–Portlanders, I’m playing a show today in the Park Blocks up around PSU.  It starts at noon.  I’m going to tell jokes, too, because our set’s not an hour and we need to get to an hour.  You should all come.  Shit yeah!

Also–anyone know any jokes?


6 responses to “Defenders Of The Constitution Unite

  1. what do gay horses eat?
    haaaaaaaay. (say it flamboyant-like. really draw out the “aaaaaaaaaay” as if you were saying what’s up)

    what do lesbian horses eat?
    (wait for it) Hey. (say it all gruff and shit, almost like a cough. deep low voice)

  2. [Completely deadpan] Did you hear the one about the party that ran out of drinks?

    [Pause, two, three] There was no punch line.

    [Stare blankly at audience until they burst into laughter or puke.]

  3. I swear to god, if I EVER hear that joke again, I really will puke…

  4. from greenpeace:
    so two whales walk into a bar. one whale says, hey, i’d like a whiskey. the bartender gets him a whiskey, and turns to the other whale. the second whale says:

    (insert ten minutes of whale noises here)

  5. so the bartender turns to the first whale and says, hey, what’s wrong with yer friend? and the second whale says, oh, don’t worry about him, he’s just drunk.

    you really can’t tell this shit on a blog. blogs are fucking stupid.

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