Is going to be a conservative. Because they all are.
Herewith, the top 10, and my unfiltered reactions:
1) Newt Gingrich: Really, America? His name is ‘Newt.’ He’s an asshat. And he’s a Catholic now, apparently. Next!
2) Karl Rove: Really, America? Next!
3) Ann Coulter: She wants to eat you whole. Next!
4) Dick Morris: Who? Wikipedia tells me a) he has a column at the Hill, and b) he predicted in 2005 that the 2008 Presidential race would be a contest between Hillary Clinton and Condoleeza Rice. Two strikes against him. I’ll give him a third, somewhat arbitrarily, for being named ‘Dick.’ Dick, you’re aptly named, and you’re now on my shitlist. Next!
5) Dr. Sanjay Gupta: Wasn’t he going to be the Surgeon General or something? I think that I remember reading somewhere that he’s a douche. Let’s pretend I did. Next!
6) Tom Brokaw: Has an authoritative voice. The only “radical leftist” so far. Next!
7) Pat Buchanan: Crazy-pants Buchanan, I call him. Next!
8. Nancy Snyderman: Who? I’m not even going to look her up. Next!
9) Tiki Barber: The football player? Wha? Fucki? Wh? W? Wher? Huh? Next!
10) Joe Klein: The guy who wrote ‘Primary Colors’? Wasn’t that, like, forty years ago?
When did I stop watching television? It’s never felt so good.