America’s Next Top Columnist

Here’s a list of the most influential columnists in the country.  Now, my unfiltered reaction:

1) Krugman:  He must have a head the size of Texas by now.

2) Friedman:  Ha!  Foiled by Krugman!  I hate you, except when I don’t.  I just hate your style.  And more than sixty percent of your ideas.

3) Dowd: Damn you, Dowd!

4) Malkin:  Really, America?

5) Hitchens:  Sigh.  At least drunks still have some influence in this country.  Maybe it’s the accent.

6) Gladwell:  He writes books, not columns.  Oh, and he writes inane New Yorker articles about x, y, or z-strange phenomenon that’s not actually all that strange when you think about it for more than thirty seconds.

7) Krauthammer:  His name sounds German.  Which means he must be Hitler.

8) Mark Bittman:  I have one of his cookbooks.

9) Huffington:  Slayer of old media!  I worship your tabloid-y website!

10) Greenwald:  The motherfucking shit.

That’s all I have to say.  As an interesting side note, Megan McCain, daughter of John and accomplisher of nothing (as far as I can tell), is number 19.  Isn’t having a famous daddy great?

I’d give the hat tip to Krugman, but he doesn’t need any help.

Damn you, Krugman!  I love you, Krugman!

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3 responses to “America’s Next Top Columnist

  1. Did you make Bittman a small-kitchen NY-surfer on purpose? Or is that just what happens when you put 8 next to ) in blogland?

  2. just what happened, but i thought it was fitting.

  3. Pingback: Meghan McCain Has A Terrible Sense Of Humor « Blogbytom

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